


Shower Buddy

by Nigellica



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Awkwardness, Creeper Derek, Creeper Derek Hale, Creeper Stiles, Derek is a Failwolf, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Meet-Weird, Neighbors, Really they're both creepers, Sex Toys, Stiles-centric, Swearing, Werewolves, and tagging, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:30:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigellica/pseuds/Nigellica
Summary: Ever since Stiles moved into his apartment he hasn't had a shower to himself, his neighbour is always there, right on the other side of the wall stealing his water pressure and changing his water temperature like a Katy Perry song. Time to do something about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After months of trying to figure out why another human being would ever shower at the same time as someone else this wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> So I wrote it.
> 
> I own nothing.
> 
> Please enjoy.

“God fucking dammit!” Stiles yelped as his shower water changed from pleasantly warm to Lucifer’s bathwater in an instant.

He flicked his hand under the water suspiciously as the taps on the other side of the wall creaked ominously. When the temperature returned to safe for humans once more he stepped out of the corner where he’d smushed himself up between the faded old tiles and the weirdly brown tinted glass, and back into the line of fire.

Every fucking time. Every fucking time this happened. The neighbour in his suspiciously cheap, probably illegal in some way apartment always seemed to wait for him to hop in the shower and then join him. Well not JOIN him join him, but shower at the exact time of day no matter when it was. At first Stiles thought maybe he was just enjoying the tinny music from the shower speaker that had been his first purchase for his new apartment (well, first fun thing anyway, furniture didn’t count), so he stopped using it but his shower buddy remained.

Then he figured maybe he could scare him off, so he started singing along. Loudly. And badly. This also had no effect, so he began loudly reciting poetry, the periodic table, Star Wars, Highlander, his high school paper on the history of circumcision, nothing helped. Meanwhile his shower temperature changed constantly, the pressure was about as effective as a limp handshake and he was seriously tempted to contact his landlord. Except he had a sneaking suspicion that the (probably illegal) shared water heater and pump may have been the only thing that made his apartment fit in his budget and he didn’t really want that changing.

When scaring the guy off didn’t work Stiles started varying his routine, instead of mornings he started showering at night, then lunch time, then mid-morning, just before classes, midnight, 2am, he even tried morning AND night to see if he could get at least one shower without the buddy system kicking in.

He couldn’t.

What the hell was the guy’s problem? They’d never even met, hell he wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was a guy but the voice that occasionally rumbled against their shared wall kinda supported his theory. But still, literally twenty-four hours in the fucking day to choose from and he had to choose the only ten (so he likes longer showers, it’s his apartment) motherfucking minutes that Stiles wanted to stand under the shower head and let warm water run over his body. How was that fucking fair?

Stiles yelped when the water turned icy, he growled and shut the water off completely. He had had e-fucking-nough, ignoring, annoying and avoiding hadn’t worked, time to face this shit head on. He pulled a pair of track pants and a ratty old star wars shirt on over his still damp skin and stormed out of his apartment to bang on his neighbour’s door.

Time to give the bastard a piece of his-

“Holy shit!” Stiles exclaimed, rather unfortunately out loud, and into the resting bitch face of his ridiculously attractive next door neighbour.

His dark hair was still dripping and Stiles couldn’t stop his eyes from tracing the path of the drop over well-defined muscle into a dark trail of hair that lead teasingly under the ratty off-white towel that was slung low around his hips.

“Can I help you?” the same voice that rumbled against his wall occasionally asked, in a tone that suggested it wasn’t the first time he’d asked while Stiles stared.

Stiles wide eyes shot up to meet clear green eyes which rested under the most judgemental eyebrows he’d ever seen.

“-” he opened his mouth but nothing came out, “-”, he tried again.

The brows furrowed at him and Stiles shook his head, “Yes,” he reached out and pulled his neighbour’s door closed so he could sprint back to his own and slam it behind him, “Holy motherfucking shitballs.”

He let his head drop back against the door, “God fucking dammit.”

OOOOO

The next day when he heard the taps next door creak Stiles couldn’t help but imagine Sexy McJudgeyBrows, stepping naked into the shower on the other side of the wall, nothing but some cheap tiles and drywall separating their naked bodies. Stiles groaned and stroked his slowly hardening cock. He imagined his neighbour stepping into the tiny cubicle behind him and pressing close in the limited space, all those hard muscles pressed against his back as something even harder slid against the cleft of his arse.

His fantasy neighbour thrust against him and wrapped his hand around Stiles, helping him jack his cock even as the other hand slid over the planes of his chest, down his abdominals and raked gently through the hair that led down to his length. The hand slid down to lift his thigh only to trail between his legs, sliding over his balls to trace a light finger around his entrance.

“Fuuuck,” Stiles moaned, resting his head against the cool tiles as his cum harmlessly washed away down the plug hole.

He barely even noticed the creaking sound as the ancient taps next door turned off hurriedly, he did however notice when his shower returned to a decent pressure. Stiles blinked for a moment and grinned, fucking finally!

OOOOO

It had become something of a Pavlovian response, the moment he heard those taps creak he couldn’t help but picture his neighbour, naked and dripping wet, ready for some fun. It seemed as though his grunts and moans did what off-key singing never could, he had driven away the shower stealer and the water pressure was his at last.

Stiles couldn’t help feeling vaguely insulted though. Mr Sex on Legs driven away by his awkward neighbour’s shower masturbatory sessions. But still, a win was a win, and he got to enjoy the majority of his showers solo under the kind of water pressure that could make a grown man weep in ecstasy.

Now that Stiles finally didn’t have to worry about sudden change in temperature injuries, he’d decided to bring a toy. He was preparing himself when he heard the creaking of taps and pressed the suction cup to the tiles, letting the dildo hang obscenely from the wall. He pressed back against the slicked rubber tip, moaning at the pressure on his entrance as he imagined his sexy neighbour, hands on his hips, pulling him back onto his cock, he clenched reflexively around the toy with a groan.

Stiles could almost feel the heat of the man nibbling at his throat as he worked himself open on the toy, “Oh fuck!” he yelped when it rubbed against his prostate.

He was vaguely aware of the taps creaking again but all it did was make him clench again around the toy as he pulled desperately at his cock. Stiles was rocking his hips back and forth on the toy, moaning loudly when he heard the loud knocking.

Stiles bit his lip with a grunted, “Fuck,” muscles rippling around the invading toy as he came hard, holding himself up against the opposite wall while he trembled his way through his orgasm.

He awkwardly pulled himself off the toy, and shut the water off yelling, “Coming!” in a slightly strangled tone as he stumbled out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.

He yanked open the door to find his next door neighbour looking damp haired but unfortunately dressed, in a tight white shirt that was almost as good as no shirt and grey track pants that Stiles desperately wanted to pull off him.

“Oh fuck,” Stiles cheeks went an even brighter red than they already were from his previous activities.

The eyebrows of doom furrowed even more, “Do you even know how to start a normal conversation?”

“Hey I was a little busy, I can’t be expected to be able to handle all this,” Stiles gestured to the man’s face and body and… everything, “Without prior warning.”

The man did a literal facepalm, possibly trying to hide the pink that covered his cheeks, “Look, can I come in? Can we talk?”

Stiles stared, oh god, “Uh sure… come on in I guess,” he stood back and waved the man in, closing the door behind him.

He scrambled to clear the pizza box and crumbs off the small couch with one hand while the other held tightly to his towel, “Uh take a seat.”

The man sat awkwardly on the edge of the lounge, hands clenched in the fabric of his track pants, Stiles stared for a moment and dragged a kitchen chair over to sit opposite him, “Wow dude, relax, you’re not going to catch anything, it’s totally safe, promise.”

That didn’t seem to relax sexy-neighbourman at all, his nostrils flared, his fingers clenched. Stiles had seen that expression before on- “Holy shit are you a werewolf?!”

The guy’s eyes widened, “What? No, why would you say that? I mean they don’t exist right? That’s crazy,” he said way too fast.

Stiles stared for a moment before he burst out laughing, “Oh my god, you’re a failwolf, that was the least convincing reaction ever. Just fyi my best friend is a werewolf, I’m not some crazy hunter or anything, you can relax.”

The other man’s eyes closed and he let out a deep breath, when he breathed in again his claws emerged, biting into his legs.

“Woah, dude, you okay? What are- oh god, you can smell it right? Shit, oh man,” Stiles groaned with the realisation, “You couldn’t just hear me you could HEAR me right?”

He hesitated then nodded, “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to at first. It was just kind of like a pack thing, first time away from pack is hard.”

Ohhhh that made sense, Scott had done some pretty weird shit in his time away, his roommates thought he was an absolute nutter. Although he did accidentally get a boyfriend out of it.

“I think it’s just the acoustics, the bathroom is the only place I can hear you clearly,” he scrubbed a hand over his face, “Sorry, I know how creepy that sounds I just…”

“Miss pack,” Stiles smiled.

The guy relaxed, “Yeah, but then you started uh…”

Stiles groaned and buried his face in his hands, “Well shit.”

“Yeah.”

Stiles took a deep breath and lifted his head with a forced smile, “Howdy neighbour, my name is Stiles, serial masturbator, nice to meet you,” he held out his hand.

There was a pause and the man’s lips twitched with amusement when he reached out to shake it, “Derek, voyeuristic creeper, nice to meet you too.”

Stiles burst out laughing, “Well at least I have a name to put to the fantasies.”

Derek froze, “You-“

“Shit, well yeah, you kinda leave an impression voyeurwolf,” Stiles’ laughing turned awkward.

“You mean-“ Derek’s head shot up at a bang and he stood, moving silently through the apartment.

“Uh dude you probably-“ Stiles started awkwardly with a fair idea where it came from.

“Shh, I think there’s something in here,” the man moved with sleek grace and Stiles cock made a valiant attempt to harden after his recent orgasm.

It was only a moment before the red-faced man returned, “It was…”

“Yep.”

“You were…”

“Uh huh.”

“Helps if you wet the suction cap first.”

“Got it,” Stiles said awkwardly, cheeks burning just as brightly as Derek’s.

“I should uh…” he gestured awkwardly at the door.

“Right, uh nice to meet you, guess I’ll see you around?” Stiles replied, standing to walk him to the door.

“Yeah I hope so,” Derek smiled, on his way out he hesitated and wrapped a hand around Stiles’ bicep and pulled him in for a quick kiss, “You ever want to try out the real thing, let me know.”

He pulled back and smirked at the other man, Stiles stood frozen for a moment before Derek turned to go.

“Hey,” Stiles let his towel drop (hoping no one else was in the hallway) and headed for the bathroom, “You just gonna stand there or you gonna join me voyeurwolf?”

Derek stepped back inside and closed the door (with a quick nod to old Mrs Mackie in 3B), “Coming.”

“Not yet you’re not~” Stiles sang out over the sounds of the shower starting, “But I’ll see what I can do about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> For no reason at all, imagine the line "Not yet you're not~" in the voice of Sherlock's Moriarty.
> 
> Just a thing I like doing.


End file.
